divorce is difficult for the whole family, but can be especially so for children.
If you are going through a divorce, you need to support your children
through the process, and be available to answer their questions. Helping
your kids can be difficult, especially when you may feel lost or confused
as well. Here are some tips to prepare you to support your children during
1. Don’t ask your children to take sides. Asking your children to choose between parents is unfair and can damage
their relationship with you.
2. Don’t ask your kids to spy on your ex. Your children may see your ex more than you do, but refrain from asking
them for information. You put your children in an uncomfortable position
when you do this.
3. Talk to your children. Offer to answer questions, discuss feelings and thoughts, and see if your
kids would feel comfortable talking to a trusted family friend, a therapist,
or other advisor to give them an outlet to express their frustrations
4. Allow them time to grieve. The divorce may signal the end of their original family, and your children
deserve the chance to mourn this. Allowing them to ponder the changes
and feel sad can help them transition to a new family structure more easily
as they adjust to life after the divorce.
5. Spend with your children. Each parent should save some time to spend with their children alone.
You are still a parent to your children, even if you are no longer in
a relationship with their father or mother. Take the time to maintain
a relationship with your kids.
6. Remind your children that they aren’t to blame for the divorce. Children may feel guilty for their parents’ breakup, but you should
remind them that they are not to blame for the end of your relationship.
7. Gently resist their efforts to “fix” things. Your kids may try to get you and your ex back together. Gently explain
that your relationship is over, and that it is for the best. Be patient
as they come to terms with the divorce.
8. Encourage empathy. Help your children see that each party involved in the divorce deserves
kindness and support, including themselves.
9. Don’t let your children become the parents. Your kids may feel uncertain about new roles in the family, and they may
try to take over as the head of the household or homemaker. Remind them
that they deserve to have a childhood, and that you don’t require
them to fulfill those roles.
10. Stick to your routine. Life goes on after a divorce, and maintaining a routine can help the transition
pass more easily.
Your children will have many feelings about your divorce. Being there for
them can help make the change easier on them. Remind them that you still
love them and want to see them happy. It can be a difficult time, but
it is more important than ever to connect with each other and take the
time to talk. Help them to understand the reasons you and your ex separated,
and be patient as they learn to handle their new family structure. You
all are facing the divorce together, and supporting your children is the
best decision you can make.
Are you facing a divorce? Our Wellesley divorce attorneys at
Saponaro Barach Bingham LLP are here to provide you with the personalized legal representation you
need. We can offer over 20 years of experience, and understand the importance
of listening to each client’s needs. We are here to help with this
Contact us today to start your free