The decision to end your marriage is a difficult one to make. If you’ve
been thinking about ending your marriage, you may also be wondering how
you should break this news to your spouse. How you decide to tell your
spouse you want a divorce is determined by whether or not you have discussed
it in the past. If you have not, this news could come as a shock to your
spouse. They will likely feel the gamut of emotions from anger to sadness,
which is why it is important to have a game plan before you decide to
break the news.
Don’t Just Pack Your Bags and Leave
One of the worst ways you can tell someone you are leaving them is to pack
your things and serve your spouse the divorce papers as you walk out the
door. Studies have shown that ending a marriage can feel just like a death
in the family. You may have processed the feelings you have about ending
your marriage, but your spouse certainly has not. Serving divorce papers
out of the blue could cause unwanted conflict and tension later on down
the road as you and your
Wellesley divorce attorney settle your divorce.
Timing is Everything
There is no worse feeling than trying to have a serious discussion only
to have your youngest child come into the room to ask for something. Find
a time where you and your spouse can be alone long enough to share your
feelings. Give your spouse time to respond your decision to divorce. If
you are truly open to fixing your marriage, perhaps let your partner know
you are unhappy
before making the decision to divorce. This way, you can both discuss setting
a timeline for improving and working on your marriage.
Be Direct and Compassionate
If you are not open to fixing your marriage, be direct and firm when you
tell your spouse you want a divorce. Remember, you can be firm in your
decision without being cruel; you have had time to grieve the loss of
your marriage but your spouse has not. Try to be compassionate and understanding
during this period but don’t give them false hope if you are not
interested in resolving your marital problems.
If your husband or wife has a history of violence, you should consider
where the safest place to tell them you want to divorce would be. Consider
breaking the news in a public place or with a third-party. If you fear
for your safety after informing your spouse, Massachusetts enforces emergency
domestic violence protection orders for victims of abuse. If the courts
are closed, you can file a 24 hour emergency protective order by going
to the nearest police station.
Let Us Help You
The legal process of divorce can be complicated, especially for spouses
juggling careers and children. Our
Wellesley divorce attorneys are deeply invested in providing compassionate, practical legal solutions
for our clients. We understand families keep busy schedules, which is
why we make ourselves available when you need us the most. Our attorneys
have weekend and after-hour availability, so you don’t have to take
too much time off of work to get your legal matters resolved.
Call (888) 209-7080 to schedule your
free case consultation today.